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The Whistler Diary: Day 2

So yesterday I was trying to be zen about having to change hotels, but this morning when I had to wake up and pack all my shit (which was thrown all over the place, naturally), with a red-wine hangover, a sore asshole, sleep crust in my eyes, and my skin reeking of chlorine (pool party!), I was less than thrilled.

They wanted to send me to a hotel located in “Upper Whistler,” which I was okay with at first because upper usually means richer. And I’m on a hunt for a mountain sugar daddy! I’m telling you, all people do here is ski/snowboard, hot tub and get wasted. I don’t ski or snowboard (or do anything athletic beyond plucking my eyebrows), but I do love sleeping with snowboarders, so I could get used to this!

I was all set for Upper Whistler until I realized that everywhere I need to be is in the village, and I am not taking taxis or (protect your eyes!) public transportation. It took only one petulant sigh for them to miraculously find me a more accommodating abode. I just have to wait for it to be cleaned, so I’m hanging out in the village un-showered, half-drunk, and did I mention my ass is sore?

I met an Aussie at the pool party yesterday. An Aussie! That’s one thing I can cross off my bucket list. He was the cutest blond there (besides me). We started in the pool and ended in his bed at the Hilton. Of course, I interviewed him for my cover story before I put his dick in my mouth. I’m a professional!

The comedy show was fun, too (although about nine uncut inches less fun than the pool party).  

Today’s to-do list:

2pm: The Mr Gay World press conference at the Conference Centre. The boys are getting tested on their publicity skills. Easy. Whoever takes off his shirt first will be the obvious winner. 

3-6pm: The Tea Dance directly follows the press conference. DJ Tom Jones and “tasty libations of Finlandia vodka, Barefoot wine and Whistler beer."

9pm-2am: Celebrities Snowstorm in Whistler. Celebs brings it to the mountain at Garfinkel’s. Vancouver’s DJ Betossi and drag star Syren DeMille are in the house.

9pm-2am: Purrlesque at Garibaldi Lift Co. Hosted by Samantha Mack and starring Burgundy Brixx, followed by a DJ set from Vancouver’s Kasey Riot.