Need a vacation? Of course you do, but where? Let's see our options…
I'd suggest London but oh no, they're going to film the "Sex and the City" sequel there and the movie sounds dreadful!
How about Paris? Olympic athlete Romain Mesnil has been running around nude all week:
But avoid Rome, or at least the Vatican — while the new revelation that they knew about child abuse scandals dating back to the 1950s is no surprise, what is weird is that a church investigator wanted to buy an island where they could send the pedophile priests! Sounds like the creepiest "Lost" episode yet!
Forget Europe — maybe a cruise ship would be fun! You could join John Mayer's voyage and watch him admit to making out with Perez Hilton:
Ugh. Maybe not. And while we debate which destination would suck more — Jamaica or Iran — note that Afghanistan's new Shia Family Law allows men to legally rape their wives. Yes tourists, welcome to sunny Kabul, where they'll treat you like family!
But before you cancel your passport application, remember it's not the country, it's the religion — rarely a friend to gay people or straight women, it seems.
Here's a game you can play at home or travelling — see how many minutes you can endure of these wiseguy college kids reading actual transcripts from Christian fundamentalist website forums! I only made to 1:12, myself…