Toronto Diary
2 min

This is what homophobia looks like

I usually prefer to use this blog as a little place to inject some levity into affairs. Amid all of the bullshit, fear, hatred and stupidity, sometimes you need to take a step back and breathe a little bit and question not what’s going on, but rather why. I mean for god’s sake, I spent most of last week following a goddamn chicken sandwich. What the hell was that even about?

But I stand by the why. In the absence of a clear answer — or sometimes any answer at all — the best question you can ask is why. Why do the things that happen happen? Why do we react or feel the way we do? And why do we keep fighting?

And then you see something like this letter from a father to his gay son that was posted on Reddit, and that why gets an answer. This is why we fight:

James: This is a difficult but necessary letter to write.   

I hope your telephone call was not to receive my blessing for the degrading of your lifestyle. I have fond memories of our times together, but that is all in the past.   

Don’t expect any further conversations with me. No communications at all. I will not come to visit, nor do I want you in my house.   

You’ve made your choice though wrong it may be. God did not intend for this unnatural lifestyle.   

If you choose not to attend my funeral, my friends and family will understand. Have a good birthday and good life. No present exchanges will be accepted. Goodbye, Dad. 

What kind of complete and total failure of a father could sit down and coldly, efficiently cut his son out of his life because he has a problem with how he loves?

And I mean that “failure of a father” part, I reeeeeeally do. Because really, the only job you have as a parent is “love your kid.” That’s it. That’s all you have to do. It’s not your kid’s job to live up to your expectations of who they are and what they do; you just have to love them and that’s it. And if you can’t even do that right, then what fucking good are you?

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