Toronto Diary
1 min

Thomas Jane and hooking for sandwiches

So in an interview with the Los Angeles Times, Thomas Jane revealed, among other things, that he used to hook for gay guys when he first came to Hollywood (which he apparently called “buy me a sandwich") and that, thanks to the decision, he somehow managed to choose to be straight.

This. This is the kind of stupid that I rely on to put food on my table.

First, let’s go with the extremely obvious dumb: the choice to be straight. To make this as obvious as possible, let’s imagine this as taste testing chocolate or vanilla. You’ll probably like both to varying degrees, but you don’t choose which one you like more; you just naturally prefer one over the other. You don’t try both and say, “Well, they told me I like this one more, so why the shit not?” Not how that actually works, genius.

Second… where the fuck do the sandwiches fit into this? Not that there’s anything wrong with hooking, but the sandwich thing better be a metaphor, because if you’re hooking for sandwiches, then we’ve crossed over into sad territory. And if it is a metaphor, it’s pretty terrible. Unless it’s a reference to five-dollar footlongs, in which case… Actually, that would be both really impressive and really sad.

All in all, Thomas Jane is kind of a total moron. Go fig. It’s a really good thing he’s pretty.

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