Toronto
2 min

Toronto gay nightlife roundup

In 1984 it looked like we'd be exploring Jupiter by now, instead we're still watching Survivor.

Two thousand and ten, MMX, however you put it; it still sounds super awkward.
 
Back in the ’80s, the sci-fi film 2010: The Year We Make Contact, predicted that by now people would be travelling to Jupiter in suspended animation, guided by humanlike supercomputers to research mysterious alien monoliths.
 
In reality, we have to deal with pop culture vomit like Ke$ha and Survivor’s 20th season. Our criterion for celebrity seems to have drooped to include anyone in the Fluid Lounge lineup. Cast members of Jersey Shore are paid $10,000 or more to appear at clubs they wouldn’t have been allowed into this time last year. With no signs of intelligent life on earth in 2010, perhaps it does make sense to look for it elsewhere. All aboard Air Jupiter!
 
But there’s no turning back now. We may as well just close our eyes and hope for the best. 2010 will be another bumpy year — snort snort. 
 
The holidays this year were a complete blur. With two weekends and New Year’s, the season for boozin’ read like an alcoholic’s daytimer: wine with family during the day, tequila at night, hangover, wine, tequila, rest and repeat. 
 
After There Goes the Neighbourhood at The Barn and the hugely successful Arrival with Offer Nissim at Sound Academy, I half expected a New Year’s Day lawsuit from my internal organs. But I managed to appease my battered liver by avoiding all human contact for a week and taking three Dead Sea salt baths a day. 
 
But now it’s time to dust off those red shoes and get back on the floor!
 
Sodom on Sat Jan 16 may just do the trick. The monthly party at Goodhandy’s produced by former Fab editor Mitchel Raphael is a themed dance party where vice and sexual expression prevail. Sodom provides just enough camp, edge and quirky sex appeal to satisfy the mainstream gay scene without scaring off the younger, more Lady Gaga-influenced crowd.  
 
In 2010, living in sin really is the hot new thing. Thanks Britney. If you’re seeking a more down-key jam, on Sat Jan 16 Will Munro’s  Barclub hybrid The Beaver, at 1192 Queen St, is home to Trashed, a small but rowdy queer dance party.
 
The Beaver is always a fun spot to get away from the Saturday mess that is Queen West (which is looking more and more like the entertainment district every week). DJ Winnie, JoeG and DJ Sigourney Beaver will be dropping some crowd-pleasers on the house. With cheap beer and good music, it makes The Beaver the perfect pre-drink or club haven for the night.
 
Small-room parties are all around, but big-room parties are back in 2010 as well.
 
Mark Sat Jan 23 on your calendar, put a Post-it note on the fridge, write it on your hand and tell your friends. The first truly epic DJ lineup of 2010 is coming to the Sound Academy (11 Polson St) for LOVEMusic v1. The all-star lineup features Satoshi Tomiie, The Martinez Brothers, Honey Dijon, Switch, Hercules and Love Affair, Pat Mahoney and more.
 
If music is your love then Valentine’s Day is coming early! And the first 500 tickets are only $19.50. Do not sleep on this one.
 
It may be early in the year and you may still have your hangover on, but let’s call this post-holiday guide your hair of the dog to 2009. Don’t be shy. Get out of your cave of TiVo and ordering in, and get your dance on! 
 
Life in 2010 may not be intelligent, but at least it can be fun!