Toronto Diary
3 min

Toronto! Lego! Men! In! Space!

Pigs in Space reference, anyone? Really? Dammit, it doesn’t have the same effect without the voice-over . . .

Anyway, a pair of Toronto teens recently sent a Lego man into space, making him the second highest Toronto native after George Stroumboulopoulos. Did I spell that right? Who fucking knows.

There’s only one teensy little problem with that: according to Transport Canada, sending those adorable little unmanned space craft into the air can damage any planes that run into them. Remember that pilot who ran into a flock of ducks and then everyone gave him a bunch of money and awards for it? Same basic principle. From The Huffington Post:

"I think in the 25 years that I’ve been flying, I’ve seen two weather balloons that passed on one side of the aircraft or the other,” he said.

A pilot might not have enough reaction time if such a balloon popped up unexpectedly, he added. With the speed of a plane at altitude, the impact could be similar to a bird strike and could cause damage, especially if something was sucked into an engine, he said. 

Awesome. We can now add “tiny adorable Lego men blowing up the freaking plane” to the long list of shit to fear while flying. It’s bad enough that I have to fly around in a metal tube that defies the will of whatever invisible bearded sky giant created us, but now I get to do so knowing that a children’s toy can murder me. Fan-tucking-fastic. 

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