Toronto Diary
1 min

UK group demands Straight Pride

There’s a very good reason why there’s no such thing as a Straight Pride Day. Well actually, there are two.

The first is that . . . Well, to put it bluntly, the queer community just knows how to throw better parties. You can’t explain it; we just know how to put together everything from an elegant soirée to an old-timey box social, and we can do it in the space of five minutes with a budget of $3.57 and some lint.

The second reason, the real reason, is because literally every other day of the year is straight pride day. Society predominantly caters to straight people, and when we get a week thrown our way once a year, most people recognize it for what it is: a way to celebrate differences while still acknowledging that we’re all part of the same crowd. We’re all in this together, but we can carve out our own little niches here and there.

However, not everyone really gets that concept. A group called Straight Pride UK is currently campaigning on behalf of Straight Pride. Which is potentially cool, until you realize it’s less about loving yourself and more along the lines of shaming gay people into being more normal.

Heterosexuals do not have equality, homosexuals have more rights then any sector of society. They have the right to take over city streets, dress ridiculously, and parade with danger and contempt. Straight Pride, is normal everyday people, dressed normally, walking normally, to raise awareness of being straight, and being PROUD to be heterosexual. [SOURCE]

Oh god, please let this be an incredibly clever satire.

How do you argue with something like that? Every day is straight pride. I don’t want to belabour a point here, but when you consider that 76 countries have made being gay illegal (despite tons of scientific evidence proving it’s perfectly normal) while being straight is legal in every country? Maybe you don’t need a straight pride day quite as much as you think you do.

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