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Most days here at the Roundup, I point out surprises either delightful or exasperating.  But looking at today’s news, I didn’t even bat an eyelash:

Sam Wurzelbacher, the pseudonymous Republican icon "Joe the Plumber,” is a homophobe! Who could’ve seen that coming?  Joe says he has gay friends (where do the bigots get these people?) but “I wouldn’t have them anywhere near my children.” Well, of course "Joe” wouldn’t — gay men would only teach the kids that there’s more to life than snaking septic pipes and who’d run the family plumbing business then?

David Ogden Stiers says, "Hello gays!" Gays say, “Who?"

— in a new poll, 67% of “feistier” Canadians say, “Canada should follow its own interests even if it leads to conflict with other nations.” So it’s a majority but not an overwhelming majority that might seem impolite.

— evil gossipmongers TMZ tried to trick the LynnCrosbie-approved Adam Lambert into coming out. Oh, those ‘American Idol’ contestants are so wily:

— turns out anti-gay beauty queen Carrie Prejean is a dirty, dirty ho. Between that and feuding with Perez Hilton, I’m almost starting to like her! (Hey, I guess that’s a surprise)

— and finally, Hugh Jackman says he’s straight and I believe him. If he wasn’t, how could he resist the adorably flirty Nate Berkus on Oprah’s show?