2 min

Up for debate

Controversial questions abound (all of it NSFW)!  What do you think on today's issues:

You've got to admire the awesome gall of Wall Street bankers who ruin their companies, get bailout money from the government, give it to their failed leaders in bonuses, and then whine to the New York Times about how poverty-stricken they are!  Could you get by on only $500,000 a year?  I suppose I'd have to stoop to buying Starbucks instead of paying my flock of Colombian boys to roast coffee beans in my condo…

An advisory council is about to deliver a report to the UK Home Office urging that ecstasy be downgraded from its current, highest criminal category. The report was originally due last week but the researchers couldn't stop making out with one another.

I prayed we were done making fun of Christian Bale's meltdown and little David's drugged-out trip home from the dentist but some sick genius fused the two together!  Is he hero or madman?

Two performers mysteriously absent from last night's Grammy Awards were Rihanna and her boyfriend Chris Brown, who turned himself in to police earlier that day on a domestic violence charge (either Rihanna or some other woman, police won't say). Sad stories like these just prove why we must save people from the sick and destructive lifestyle of heterosexuality.

Excommunicated Bishop Richard Williamson has been welcomed back into the Catholic Church, provided he renounces his claim that the Holocaust never happened. Despite his regret at the "distress" he's caused the Pope with his views, Williamson refuses, saying he needs "proof" that the systematic murder of Jews, gypsies and homosexuals truly happened. Well, Bishop Williamson, allow me to show you inside this gas oven over here…

Remember when US pundits were debating whether Barack Obama was black enough?  I bet these soundbites from his audiobook make them feel silly now:

"Milk" writer Dustin Lance Black won the Best Screenplay award at this weekend's Writers Guild of America awards. Black says Harvey Milk inspired him to write and urged the gay community to re-energize ourselves and fight for equality. Dude, I would totally like to but "Project Runway" is on!

But the one thing we can't debate is that the Pet Shop Boys are back with a new single and they're completely right:  you need more love!