Toronto Diary
1 min

What’s long and hard and full of seamen?

I’m not gonna lie: it took me a while to come up with a PG-13 title that could accurately describe cum. THAT is what I decided on. Thank you, decade-old joke.

Aaaaaaaanyway, Sherry Vine is here with another parody of a song you will hear in gay clubs for the next four months, this time spoofing Rihanna’s “We Found Love.” And it’s about cum. Or as I now call it, “The only thing Treasure Island Media feeds the exclusive models they keep locked in their basement.”

The song is pretty good, and I did chuckle a little bit when they mocked that weird, completely inconsequential part of Rihanna’s video where she just randomly projectile-barfs streamers as if she just blew a clown. All in all, I dig it, although I do have to deduct points for making a song called “We Found Sperm” and having absolutely no sperm in the entire video. I’m just saying: if you’re gonna go with the jizz joke, you better fucking commit to there being cum all up in that bitch.

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