Toronto Diary
2 min

Which of DC Comics’ heroes is coming out of the closet?

At the recent Kapow! Convention in London, DC Comics announced that one of its major characters would be coming out of the closet. Which means it’s time for me to speculate wildly on the internet without any sort of credibility or proof to back me up as to who will come out of the closet. YAY, INTERNET!

Green Lantern

Well, not our Green Lantern specifically, but the one from Earth-Two is pinging on the gaydars of more than a few comic book nerds. Plus, let’s face it: when the powers of you and your enemies are based on the colours of a rainbow, being gay makes all the sense. Also, look at that fucking picture. Green Lantern doesn’t give a shit. He will scream at flaming skulls because FUCK YOU, SKULLS.

Odds – 1:20

 

Booster Gold

Booster Gold looks like what would happen if you rolled up every single Falcon Studios exclusive model into a single person, gave him time-travelling powers, and stuck him in shiny, gold, ass-hugging tights. He also acts like the star of a Bravo reality show, so if he’s not gay, he’s at the very least a heteroflexible party boy. 

Odds – 1:15

 

Wonder Woman

WW is one of those rare comic book characters who serves as an icon to both gays and lesbians. She’s a strong, powerful woman, but she can also rock out the thigh-high stiletto boots. She strikes the rare balance of power, vulnerability and personality that makes for a great LGBT role model, and her appreciation for bondage would make her more than welcome in the leather community.

Odds – 1:10

 

Poison Ivy

I’m basing this on what I refer to as The Santana Principle. Like Santana Lopez, everyone’s favourite snarky lesbian, Poison Ivy started off as a femme fatale, capable of wooing any man she wanted but never really caring for any of them. Over time, both grew closer to their best friend (Brittany:Santana :: Harley Quinn:Poison Ivy) until they realized the extent of their feelings and their true sexual preference. Also, I just think Ivy and Harley would make for a cute couple.

Odds – 1:5

 

Batman and Robin

How can I say this properly . . . Ah, yes. Batman and Robin are gayer than the cocks in Ryan Seacrest’s mouth right now. They have a seat in the glass closet right beside Anderson Cooper. The writers of Batman and Robin can’t even pretend that the whole thing isn’t inherently gay and have gone on the record about it. But in all seriousness, Batman and Robin getting it on canonically would be kinda hot.

Odds – 1:2 

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