Arts & Entertainment
2 min

Woody Reviews: Bel Ami’s Love Affairs

As hot as it is, it's practically the Disney of gay porn

THE DISNEY OF GAY PORN. Bel Ami boy Luke Hamill (above) just about manages to stretch his pouty lips around Kurt Diesel's huge fat piece. Credit: Bel Ami

To begin, let me say that porn studios streaming their movies online makes my job so much easier. A man only has so much storage space.

But Love Affairs is one I’d be willing to keep around in hard copy (pun intended).

The original Bel Ami superstar himself, Lukas Ridgeston, directs and shoots and edits this movie, and it’s filled with the sweet, sunny and playful action the Eastern European company built its reputation on.

Another great thing is that the boys all work behind the camera as well as in front, so even if their on-screen career winds down, it doesn’t mean they’re thrown out on the street. The studio looks after its boys.

You might think all of that means the action is a bit tame — and you’d be right, at least partially.

Blowjob techniques consist of wiggling the tongue in the general direction of a penis, and actual deep-throating is rare in the extreme.

But the boys are all so impossibly beautiful that it’s tough to complain. Seriously, how do they keep finding so many perfect young men? Flawless bodies, huge uncut dicks, smooth tanned skin… damn them all.

So anyway, what’s the movie about? It’s about boys flirting and pairing off and making love and showing that sex between men doesn’t have to be dirty and forbidden.

Sascha Chaykin keeps on sucking even after Alex Orioli has already painted his face with cum, and Orioli seems to really enjoy the fierce fucking he gets on the sunlounger.

Jacques Briere grins wide while getting the same treatment from Josh Elliot — I just wish he was a bit harder about it.

Luke Hamill just about manages to stretch his pouty lips around Kurt Diesel’s huge fat piece, loosens his hole with a flickering pierced tongue and pounds him pretty well on the sofa.

Mark Zebro is a little bit nerdy compared to the rest, but of course he carries the biggest dick in the whole cast, and Chaykin and Todd Rosset both make a meal out of it. There’s wet and messy facial cumshots in every scene.

As sexy as all this is, it’s all filmed like a soft-focus fairy tale. You get the impression that every day is filled with nothing but sun and fun and fucking. Nothing bad ever happens in the world of Bel Ami.

The studio is practically the Disney of gay porn — you half expect cartoon bluebirds to land on somebody’s shoulder at any moment. It would fit perfectly.