Opinion
3 min

WorldPride wisdom

Sweet & sexy advice ahead of our biggest Pride yet

Relaxing in the beer garden during Pride 2013. Credit: Adam Coish

Here is my manifesto for WorldPride.

Be a bridge. No matter how old you are, connect with someone younger than you and make sure they understand a little bit of what queer life was like before they came of age; make sure they learn something useful from the past. Find an older person and thank them for making it to whatever age they are, and tell them you are grateful for what their generation did. See if they have any lessons or wisdom they want to impart, and regardless of whether you agree with it, listen respectfully.

Have sex. Be liberal with your make-outs and conservative with your rejections. Fuck someone you ordinarily wouldn’t. Be sexual in a way that’s new to you. Discover. Play. Be safe and responsible (by which I mean use condoms or do something non-penetrative). Make whomever you’re with feel like they’re the sexiest thing in the world. Don’t hold back or feel shame. Obtain consent. Enjoy your body.

I also want you not to have sex. Save your body for the one person you want to give it to, and if that person doesn’t exist or materialize, cherish your body and nurture it in other ways. It’s yours to keep for yourself; there are myriad ways besides sex to connect with the people around you, and they are just as valid and important. Celibacy can be its own reward.

Stay calm when you run into an ex. It’s going to happen, probably often, and you’re a mature person who has better things to do than rehash the past. They do not own you or your emotions, so don’t let them spoil your weekend.

Be daring. Apologize to someone you hurt once upon a time. Forgive someone. Go somewhere that’s not your scene before you end up where you really want to go. Eat something you’ve never eaten before. Take a chance and ask out/kiss someone you like and give them a chance to see your awesomeness; if they say no, accept it and know it’s their loss.

Tip your queens. They work hard for the money (so hard for it, honey). They’re hot, sweaty, and they rehearsed long hours. I don’t care how flawless or busted her look is; if you see a queen onstage, throw $10 at her, no questions asked.

Pace yourself. Get some proper sleep before the weekend and eat healthfully and regularly. Holler party people: don’t drink the whole bottle or do all your drugs at once. Drink lots of water. If you’re overheated, sit the hell down and dance to the next song. If you’re staying sober, I am too! We can chill together at the substance-free zone.

Get over yourself. Don’t complain if it’s too hot, a line is too long or the street is too crowded. We’re all dealing with the same issues, and you’ll have a better time if you go with the flow. By the same token, I want you to stop worrying about your body. It’s fine as it is, you look fine as you are, and nobody but nobody cares about the weight you think you need to lose or the muscles you think you need to tone. Pride’s still going to happen either way, dear.

Cherish your friends but not to do the weekend in big roaming packs; it’s harder for you to stay together and annoying for everyone else. You will definitely run into old friends and do that screamy/huggy thing, so hold them tight and make sure they know you love them. You will cross paths with people who are celebrating Pride for the very first time; it’s your job to give them a Pride they’ll remember. You will also cross paths with people who are celebrating Pride for the last time; it’s your job to give them a Pride worthy of their years on Earth.

Last, but not least, stay up late, get yo’ life and be the best self you can muster up. After all, the world is watching!