Toronto Diary
1 min

Worst. Beefcake calendar. Ever.

Move over shark from Jaws, I’ve found me some new nightmare fuel. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Kentucky Derby Thoroughbred Jockey calendar! Why was it created? I don’t know. I’d say it’s God’s punishment, but this calendar makes me question my faith a little. My best guess is that someone figured that if people like a JOCK calendar, they’d like a JOCKEY calendar! Except that person was wrong and has pretty much committed a hate crime.

In all fairness, some of the guys are hot (I’m a sucker for tattoos), but for the most part they just look like they’re starving. They were going for a beefcake calendar but wound up with a rice-cake calendar. Seriously, in the time it takes you to read this sentence, Angelina Jolie has already adopted half of the men in it. The other problem is that all the horses kind of make this seem like someone took their love of equus to a new, uncomfortably intimate level. Just putting it out there, but when people say they want a calendar with horse-hung men… do the exact opposite of this.

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