Names: Zak & Miki
Ages: 9 & 10 (elf years)
“When we finish our shift at the workshop, we usually strip down to our undies and have a good ol’ elfin twerk-off,” says Zak the elf (pictured left). “It’s how we blow off steam after a long day of toy-making.” Zak and Miki, two of Santa’s top toy makers, often get themselves and other elves into trouble during the high season. “We make very good use of the oversized candy canes and conveyor belts on a Saturday night,” Miki says.
Their favourite spot for a date is the Island of Misfit Toys. “The North Pole can get pretty drab, so I like to bring a hot elf to the island for a really good cocktail at Mrs Clausette’s — a really cute lesbian bar,” Zak says. “There or Jack-in-the-Box, which is a really steamy gay dance club,” Miki says.