Toronto Diary
3 min

Yup, that’s a workout dildo

Just… wow. Okay, I know the shake-weight was maybe like a fluke or something, because it's easy to see how someone might not see a pumping action as overtly sexual, but… What the shit, people? This is the Free Flexor, and I swear to God, I initially thought this was the double-sided dildo from Requiem for a Dream. Gaze upon yonder workout dildo and weep:

See what I mean? Someone out there saw this thing, watched as muscular men flopped it around in their clenched fists, their arms pumping as intense looks of determination spread across their faces, and said "Yup, nothing gay about this. Slap it on TV and sell it to people for $39.95. Hell, we'll even throw in a DVD of sweaty, shirtless musclemen pumping it! Nothing at all gay about this."

That man's name? Marcus Bachmann.